Posted by: Mary Crocco | April 2, 2012

But I’ll just have to wait an extra 2 weeks to find out!

Living with CML

April 1, 2012

I had no problems flying at all! I was so relieved.

I sit here pushing myself to write because it has been a hard weekend. Fatigue has taken over since Friday night. I haven’t been able to sleep because I have been hurting since returning to my water exercises. When I don’t go every other day, it just takes a toll on my body getting back to it. The last time I went was March 5th because of my ear problem. Then I went to my son’s for a week. So I was able to go and exercise this past Monday, the 26th.

It felt wonderful to step into that liquid paradise again, but man oh man, it just killed me every night with aches and pain. But I forced myself to go. Using the ladder brought on terrible hand cramps and a sore wrist. Anyway, by Friday night my CML fatigue just doubled. I took pain killers and muscle relaxers for my pain. They worked somewhat, but I slept a lot of the days away. So it’s Sunday night and I feel a bit of energy sneaking back, and the cramps, aches and pains are subsiding.

So last month I wrote about how I contacted a friend and we made a date to enjoy High Tea at the Bellagio. We met on March 3rd. It was wonderful. We talked for 4 hours and then went to the Art Gallery which is in the Bellagio. It certainly felt good to see my friend, even better to actually talk to her and catch up. I had some pain from walking too much, but I didn’t let on and took care of it when I got home. My days are spent alone, my choice I know, but I did enjoy the live conversation. She texted me later that night saying she had a nice time and we will plan to get together again soon.

My friend, Janet, from Phoenix, posted this on Facebook on March 4th. The timing was coincidental, (going to High Tea) and it brought tears to my eyes. I hope I can someday get over feeling the way I feel and see my true friend. (Here come the tears again.)

{It’s been said that everlasting friends go long periods of time without speaking and never question their friendship. These friends pick up phones like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live, and they don’t hold grudges. They understand that life is busy and you will ALWAYS love them. SHARE if you have at least 1 of these friends. They will know who they are.}

OK, on with the month. As for the pool in March, I went on the 5th and again during the last week. I
planned to go earlier, but I was back to cold symptoms again; sneezing and coughing. So I didn’t go back until the last week when I returned from Sparks.

I had a great visit with my 9 month old grandson. I walked him in his stroller. Last November, I walked up and down the street many, many times. This time I could only walk it once! I couldn’t believe it. It just proves how the pool helps me so much.

He is crawling all over and walking in his walker. I felt the fatigue sneaking up on me in the afternoons and I tried to rest when he did. The week was just long enough and I was pretty pooped when I got home Friday night, the 23rd.

I started the pool again on the 26th. I do what the doctor said and apply Vaseline to the cotton balls for my ears. I feel clogged at times and have slight pain, but overall I think it may be healing on its own like the doctor said. I sure hope so.

I had to fill out more assurance forms this month again. My oncologist has the greatest nurse and she always completes her part quickly and efficiently. I’m very lucky. She called on Friday to reschedule my appointment for April 3rd. The doctor will be gone for 2 weeks. So I’ll go on the 16th. I had my blood drawn for the visit on March 27th. I’m curious to know if my iron levels are down because of the extra fatigue. But I’ll just have to wait an extra 2 weeks to find out!

March was also the appliance breakdown month. My cable went out twice. The repair guy couldn’t figure out what the problem was. I had to change my sleep pattern to be up for his visits. This always takes a huge toll on me.

Then my washer broke. Again, I had to get up early for his appointment. It was a blown fuse and he replaced it. He told me my dryer vent and hose needed to be replaced, so I had to call Lint Busters for my dryer too. Again, another time my sleep was changed. Maybe all this month’s activities and changes are the reason for the extra fatigue. I know my sleep pattern is not considered normal, but when it is interrupted, I do suffer.

I received an iPad from my family for Xmas. I made a dozen or so appointments to go to a workshop, but never made one of them. When the fatigue is bad, I really can’t do much. Anyway, I was running out of time for the 90 days, so I did finally go to a workshop. Oh man, talk about suffering. This is exactly what I mean; this is why I don’t want friends. I go and the workshop is held right in the store itself, no room with chairs or anything. The store is loud and people are running all over like ants at a picnic. Then I have to sit on a bar stool! Oh god, I knew I would suffer from that! And I sure did. The next day I had pain on my sides, back, and knees. If I had gone with a friend, I would have been embarrassed to have such a hardship. I wanted to explore the place where the Apple Store was located, which was a good 30-40 minute drive. But I was so exhausted from the effort it took to sit on the stool, I just couldn’t. I was lucky to get a parking space as it was. So enjoying the Town Center was out. But I did see a store across from Apple and bought my daughter-in-law a birthday gift! So I was thrilled I didn’t have to shop on another day.

I had exciting news from two authors this month! I was asked to be a beta reader for one author and to read/review before publication for another author. I was honored and it gave me a lift regarding my book reviewing. I gave my corrections to the author and he listened to my suggestions. He sent me the final book and it was rewarding to see the changes he made. I’m currently waiting for the other to book to arrive. It’s fun to read before publication.

I’ve been working on my grandson’s birthday book. It’s finished, but I’m just revising it over and over and over again! I have until June. I started it in February. It took me 6 months to complete the first book I wrote for him when he was born. I’ll be making a visit to the library soon for an idea I have to improve two photos.

Well, that’s it for March! When I put it all in writing I feel I did a lot this month. So I will go to the pool, read and book review and work on my grandson’s book and a short story I’ve also been writing.

I have a dental cleaning on the 12th, and my CML oncologist appointment on the 16th. As always I hope to have my blood work show I’m still in remission and that all looks good. Since the previous scare of multiple myeloma, I always carry that fright in the back of my mind.

April is a hard month for me. Oh god, here I go crying already. My oldest son would have been 40 years old on the 19th. It’s been 11 years, but as the saying goes, it feels like yesterday. That’s all I can write about this right now, it’s just too sad and I won’t be able to see the keyboard. I’ll write next month about my visit to his grave on his birthday.

My son, who I visit in Sparks, will be 37 years old on the 20th. His brother was born one day earlier, he was 3 years older. It’s sad for him to have lost his brother, but he doesn’t say much. (Tears again.)

My youngest son is 24 and lives near me. He is godfather to Rich’s son. I wish we all lived closer. You guessed it, tears again!

I’m going to Long Island to visit my mother on the 24th for a week. I hope I can keep up the pool until then as it really helps my arthritis. I dread the almost 8 hour flight, but it’s the only way I can see my mom now. She can’t travel anymore. She used to love coming to my home. We won’t be doing much as she doesn’t leave the house. (More tears again.) I don’t think I bring much to her anymore, but I will try. I hope I can make her smile once or twice while I’m there.

See you all in May!

Thanks to everyone who reads my blog. Please feel free to leave a comment; I would love to hear from you.

A special thanks to my niece in England. Even with her busy schedule, she still manages to read my blog! Thanks Bella 


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